A Child’s character for his whole life would be dependent on how he was raised. The home environment is the key to shaping a child’s personality. Raising a child is a science which can be executed in plenty of different ways.
There are multiple parenting styles which are practiced at homes. Some of them are good and some lead to bad happenings. Primarily the following are the parenting styles we know;
- Disengaged Parenting
- Authoritarian Parenting
- Uninvolved Parenting
- Permissive Parenting
Talking about the types of Parenting, Uninvolved parenting is something parents practice a lot these days. So much so that it has become the foundation of the parenting philosophy for many families.
What is Uninvolved Parenting?
Uninvolved Parenting or Neglectful parenting is a type of parenting in which the parents tend to show little or no interest in the child’s life. Parents may intentionally or unintentionally ignore their child in a way that no interaction exists between them.
Some of the features described below would help you understanding Uninvolved Parenting examples better.
Features of Uninvolved Parenting.
1. Neglecting the Child
Parents that are following this type of parenting style would be neglecting their child and might be having little to no social engagement with them. You may not be allocating sometime of your day to play with your little aged kids or to even have a direct conversation.
2. No Expectations from your Child.
Uninvolved Parents may not be expecting anything from their children. Not expecting from them to behave well on the dinner table or not telling them to be kind with others etc. In other words, this means instilling a mentality into the child that there are no responsibilities for you.
3. No Expression of Love towards the Child
Simply showing no gesture that could possibly express love for the child. Uninvolved parents may not be good at some random acts of care. This doesn’t necessarily mean you are showing hate towards him if not love. But not showing interest in his small doings would not help expressing love either.
4. Keeping an Emotional Distance from Your Child
One of the signs of neglectful parenting is that you keep an abstract wall of detachment between your kids and yourself. This just means that your kid isn’t enough comfortable and free to talk around you. One way to assess this is that if you and your kid can’t find a topic to chat about while sitting together, you two are emotionally distant.
Why Exactly Parents follow Uninvolved Parenting?
As said before Uninvolved parenting could’ve been done intentionally or unintentionally. After all we are talking about all kind of parents out there.
There can be hundreds of factors that contribute to why Parents might be parenting their children in a neglectful way.
Some of the most common factors in determining the parenting style in parents can be;
Having a Hectic Schedule
One of the main reasons why children might have to experience neglectful parenting is that parents might have a really busy schedule. This is a problem every family is facing nowadays. Parents get so caught up in their own problems that they can’t find time to look after their kids. This phenomenon automatically creates a boundary line between parents and the children hindering their contact.
Parents faced the same as kids
Another big factor in this regard is that many parents tend to repeat the behavior they got from their parents. If they were treated well they’d treat their kids nicely. But if they were treated harshly, they may prove strict as parents. Similarly, the people that felt neglected as kids may not show much interest in the lives of their own children.
Parents may be avoiding too much Interaction
Every individual tends to develop a theory based on his/her own experiences of life. The same can be the case with many of the parents. Just because it’s their intuition that engaging too much with their kids wouldn’t be good, they won’t do it. Most of the overprotective parents tend to use this excuse for being uninvolved with their kids. And insecurity of raising their kids the right way is the baseline that instills this mentality in them.
How bad is Uninvolved Parenting for the Child?
The way a child would be parented would decide the structure of his/her entire social life. Thus anything did wrong can possibly make a harsh impact on him for a longer-term. Some of the consequences that a Child may face later in his life due to uninvolved parenting are;
Fear of Opening Up to Others.
One of the worst things a child may lose is the freedom he had in his mind. The kid facing a neglecting behavior since childhood may possibly congest himself to himself only. This may happen because the parents never asked him to share his/her problems with them. And because of this nonresponsiveness the child is not interested in talking about himself to others in later years of his life which can lead to severe depression and anxiety.
No Supervision could lead to bad things
Every parent should expect their kid going in the wrong direction once. Thus they’d need to keep an eye on him and his activities especially on some crucial growing years of his life. However, the case can be totally different if the parents didn’t care much. No supervision on the child’s activities could lead him to terrible things like substance abuse. Several studies on ‘Why Kids use drugs’ have alleged parents’ lack of supervision for kid’s drug use.
Neglecting Your Child may make him an Attention Seeker.
Children experience uninvolved parenting from elders never get the attention they deserve. Paying attention to your kid in his small acts makes him feel important. But when being neglected badly by parents, the kid might get involved in attention-seeking activities like Bullying other kids, etc. Many types of research have shown that attention-seeking is the primary reason behind Why kids bully others.
The child may not develop good Socializing Skills.
Uninvolved parents may also lead their child to not having appropriate socializing skills. This doesn’t fit in the category of being Introverted or Extroverted but rather fits into having good communication skills. Sooner when the child grows old connecting and interacting with other people in the society would be hard for him. Symptoms of this could be seen if he doesn’t have a good amount of friends in the neighborhood or school.
The child might start lacking Confidence.
Parents are responsible for shaping the entire personality of their child. They can either build or shatter his self-esteem. And children going through this type of parenting style just lack the confidence in different social aspects. For example, it is not a proven fact that kids that are often praised by their parents are more confident, empowered and will outperform kids who weren’t looked after by parents much.
Other than in childhood, Parenting a kid would have effects on it even in his adult life. Your kid would instill specific traits in childhood depending on your parenting style and with the passage of time, these traits might develop on a bigger level.
The bad effects of emotionally neglectful parenting on adults can be easily understood by the following video.
How to Avoid Uninvolved Parenting Style – Tips for Parents
Having a look into what constitutes Uninvolved parenting we can share the following tips for parents to avoid this parenting style;
Keep Contact with your Child.
One of the biggest reasons for emotional detachment is the lack of communication. When you stop having a general contact with your kid you start building a boundary in between. Try to sustain a conversation by asking different questions randomly. As soon as he gets back home from school, you can ask; “How was the day?” or at the dinner table, you can inquire about his upcoming football game, etc. These simple questions can make a big difference as they show the love and care from your side.
Have a Face to Face Conversation
Afterward, you’ve got to inquire more specifically. You need to find at least 1 hour every day to sit and talk to your kids about different things. It’s recommended that this talk should about more specific problems and shouldn’t be like any general dinner talk. Try to make your child comfortable with you and let him open up to you about all his concerns. This trick will help you get to know your child a lot better.
Have Fun with Your Child
Having some fun time with your children can help to shape them into a positive personality. Coming home after office or on weekends try to allocate some time to play with them. Playing any kind of sport with your children will help to make them more cooperative and bringing them close to you. Or you can just sit next to them and watch some TV or have a funny chat to bring a smile on their face. All you need to do is to find small acts which can help you engage more and more with your kids.
Give Your Child Value
You can show love and affection towards your kids by showing interest in their different activities. For example, when your kid is telling you a story of something he did in school try to listen to it attentively. This is a great way of giving value to your kid. Or you can also give him random surprises like bringing a gift without any cause to bring a smile on his face.
Praise Your Child Often
Praising your child every now and then over different things can be really helpful. There are multiple pieces of research which prove that praising your child even on small things can build his self-esteem and confidence massively. Moreover, it also encourages the kid to perform better than before because you as the parent have a set of expectations from him.
With the rise of technology, parents are losing communication with their kids. Parents soon start neglecting the lives of their children and the child suffers a lot because of it.
It’s hard to make parents realize how big of a mistake they are making. The Child’s mental health can be badly affected if he doesn’t get the right environment at home.
Uninvolved parenting puts a negative impact on the child and its consequences can be seen in horrific ways as the child grows old. Supervision on the kid is a must and no parents should compromise over it.